


stargaze

by casinos



Category: South Park
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Gay, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OW, Runaway, Running Away, Sexuality Crisis, Stargaze, beans, bunny - Freeform, butters has abusive parents, confident tall, confident tol, dumb gays, everyone's one year older, fightin, going native, good boyes, im bad at tags, kenny is confused, kenny is daddy, lots of hoodless kenny, my phone erased all my work five times, mysterion - Freeform, pan kenny gay butters, proffessor chaos, scared small, scared smol, south park - Freeform, tall kenny short butters, there's a background romance with stan and kyle too, tol n smol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-11 21:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15324297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casinos/pseuds/casinos
Summary: kenny finds butters crying in the park. he takes him in, but the battle's far from over. trauma, fighting, and an unfamiliar feeling tugging the boys to eachother.but in no universe do two boys who are just trying to be there for eachother actually fall in love... right?[ based loosely off that one comic by mmantequilla i think ]





	1. hello there

"butters?"

the blonde froze, stiffening and clutching his knees closer to his shivering form. he looked up, blue eyes meeting another pair.

"oh, h-hey kenny." butters stood up slowly, shuddering. he braced himself against a tree trunk, trying to disguise the pain in his leg. he noticed the other boy had his hood down, and his blue eyes were shining and wide with concern.

"jesus christ, butters, wheres your jacket? its freezing!" kenny rushed beside his friend, undoing his parka and draping it over butters' hunched shoulders. he led the boy cautiously onto a bench, where a streetlight illuminated both their faces.

butters had to gasp. seldom had he seen kenny without the concealment of his hood, and it was quite a sight.

he had messy blonde hair and blue eyes that were oddly hypnotic, like sapphire gems. he had piercings scattered on his ears and when he spoke there was a glimpse of a small gap in his teeth.

butters was distracted by a gasp from kenny, but not of surprise. the blonde was barraged by reality as a wave of realization hit him. he lifted a hand up to his black eye, gaze lowering.

"what happened?" kenny's voice wavered, piercing the veil of silence thay had momentarily wrapped around them.

"its nothing- i w-was- i just-"

"you have a black eye and a limp, butters. its something."

he shivered, not wanting to remember. pain and sadness welled inside him, and he could feel tears bead up in his eyes as he spoke.

"m-my- well, my dad, he got mad at me again, a-and i t-tried to f-fi-fight back and sp-speak u-up, and he b-beat-he b-beat me up and ki-kicked me out and then he told me n-not to come b-back until i f-fixed my a-attitude a-and-and i dont even h-hic-have my ph-ph-phongghhh-" 

he broke down quickly. butters didnt recognize what was going on until he was choking on tears and his nose was stuffed, and he was suddenly yanked from the void as someone pulled him close.

butters was still sobbing, almost immobilized by his crying, but he recognized kenny's voice.

"shhh, its okay, dude. you can stay at my place."

butters just pulled the parka around him tighter, trying to calm down.

kenny sighed, standing up and helping butters from the bench. the blonde weakly wiped tears from his face, huddling into the orange parka with new gratefulness.

the taller boy leaned butters against his frame and walked him out of the snowy park carefully. 

"s-say, ken, what were you doin out here?" butters asked.

the former smiled slightly, his blye eyes flitting to the expansive dark blue sky above him. "oh..."

"just stargazing."

* * *

 

"here. all set up." 

kenny yanked the threadbare blanket over butters. though the cloth was thin, it was something, and the blonde was thankful to have it. 

"thanks for e-everything, ken." butters murmured, huddling into it.

"yeah, youre welcome." the taller male paused, then grabbed his parka from the sofa arm. "here. the living room gets cold past 1 am." he draped the neon orange jacket over the smaller body on the sofa, and butters sighed gratefully.

he stretched, lithe muscles shifting. "well, night dude. ill see you in the morning and explain to my parents that you are an emergency."

kenny turned to leave.

"w-wait, ken!" butters squeaked, poking a bit more of his head from under the parka and thin blanket. "u-uh, this might sound weird, but could you uh, could you stay here till im asleep?" he shuffled awkwardly.

kenny smirked softly. his blue eyes looked tired, yet still glittered handsomely with humor. he settled, sitting crosslegged on the armchair. 

the blonde stared for a long moment in awe at the preteen's oddly good looks. he wasnt used to not calling a walking parka "kenny" and was still trying to figure out why one would bother wearing piercings only for them to be concealed by a thick orange hoodie.

he was caught off-guard by kenny jokingly winking. "oi, im not your fashion show. im tired and i know you are too. dont be gay."

butters chuckled awkwardly, before submerging himself under the blankets and parka.

 

* * *

it wasnt long before the soft snores of butters alerted kenny that he could go, but he had become locked in thought.

 _i hate those parents. he's done nothing. this is just such a shit thing to do to some innocent kid like him._ he clenched his fists. 

it wasnt ok. none of this was fine. butters was one of the more innocent and naive of his friends, and to see him break down because of the abuse of his parents was a shaking event. 

"ill help you, butters. im gonna kill those assholes." kenny muttered as he marched upstairs, eyes glued to the ground.

he clambered into bed, and though thoughts buzzed in his head, it wasnt long before his gaze settled on the stars dancing outside his window, and he drifted into the abyss of sleep.

 


	2. morning

bright sunlight filtered through the dirty and dingy window. a light breeze whistled it's way through a crack in the glass that was not yet covered by duct tape. kenny groaned under the thin blanket that lay over him, writhing for a moment under the cloth before finally coming to terms with the fact he was awake. he sat up, slowly remembering last night's events. a pang of sorrow and pity flashed through him so quick he hardly recognized the emotions. he slid out of bed, tossing his blanket to a corner of the stained mattress. 

kenny shuffled downstairs, needing to retrieve his parka before his dad woke up and gave him shit for how skinny he was. "morning, bu-" he stopped himself, noticing the still-sleeping lump of blanket and parka on the old sofa. the dirty-blonde rolled his eyes with a soft grin. of course he would still be sleeping in. butters could always be seen running in a panic to school right before it would start. kenny usually seemed to be the only one that noticed, unless butters was especially late- then he would yell to himself between pants as he raced up the street and everyone would notice the little blonde bullet. 

he nudged butters, not too gently in case the boy was a heavy sleeper. and again. "butters. wake up."

"wuh? oh- hey kenny." the blonde mumbled. kenny reached for his parka off the boy, who was already sitting up and rubbing his eyes. his wrist brushed against butters' arm, and he flinched back with his eyes wide, mainly out of surprise. he didn't fail to notice butters also seeming to jump back.

"holy shit, butters, you're freezing!" kenny yelped in shock, recoiling and yanking his parka off of the other boy by accident. "are you okay?"

the smaller kid looked down, as if guilty. "s-sorry, i guess the cold was getting to me more than i th-thought. i dont feel exactly the best." butters shuffled, seeming to shrink back into the beaten up backrest of the couch. 

"it's fine!" kenny didnt understand why butters was being so sheepish. "you just have a cold." kenny never thought his ability to instantly recognize and diagnose small illnesses like colds or fevers would come in handy. guess that's what happens when you live in the ghetto and have to keep an eye out for the newest sickness on the block. he stood up. "come on- i'll make you a bowl of cereal too. go sit at the dining table." he wrapped his thick parka around his torso and shuffled off to the kitchen, hearing butters toss the blanket off of him and walk to the dining table behind him. 

kenny walked along the grimy and stained counter until at last he stood under a cabinet with a door that was crooked. he reached up, pulling out a box of cereal. well, really only the bag was left. kenny had used the box to take all his parent's crack and hide it away, so they couldn't smoke it.

 "you want milk with it?" kenny mumbled through the parka hood. the taller boy personally didnt enjoy it, but he knew most kids liked it soggy and gross- for some weird ass reason.

"oh, n-no thanks." butters stuttered, punctuating the sentence with an alarmingly loud cough. kenny felt a stab of surprise, turning around. "shit, butters, you okay?" 

"i just dont feel the best, ken. you already know that."

"y-yeah, i- nevermind. here." he walked over, placing the bowl of cereal on the creaky wooden table and sitting across from butters with his own bowl. he unzipped the part of the hoodie covering his mouth to eat and took a bite. "so i obviously dont want you being here alone with my parents. youll have to still go to school."

"o-oh gee, but the guys always rough me up. i-i'unno if i wanna have that happen today!" the blonde looked a bit concerned.

kenny paused. the guys always did see butters as disposable, and usually some bullshit would go down that he would end up in the center of. a pang of guilt flared in his chest as he noticed butter's eye scar, and he tried to clear it. "how about you hang around someone who will defend you? stan and you hang out a lot because you bond over complaining about dads. youre like best friends! im sure if you explained he'd help."

"he's not my best friend, ken. and hes one of the fellas who mess with me anyways."

"well who is it?"

"honestly? you, kenny!" he smiled, but it was interrupted by another cough.

kenny almost shot chewed up cereal out his nose- he could feel his synuses burning. him? butters and him barely ever interacted!

"m-me?" 

"is... is that... i-is that okay?" the blonde looked disappointed. "oh, golly, im sorry, i-"

"no, its fine! im just surprised im your best friend. we dont really talk that much."

butter shrugged slightly. "well, i just... youre the only one who seems to be completely sensible." 

the dirty blonde chuckled softly. he often forgot how pure and almost childlike butters was. to put so much thought and analyzation into who your best friend was is definitely something butters would do. 

kenny noticed the time on the cracked clock hanging on the wall behind butters. "come on, we gotta hurry." kenny ran to the door, hoisting his black weed-patterned backpack over his shoulder and waiting for butters behind him.

"come on, dude!" he quickly zipped up his hood and adjusted it  to hide more of his head until it sat comfily over most of his cranium.

butters looked worried when kenny turned back to him. "uh, ken? i dont have my backpack."

"whatever. ill sneak into the teachers lounge and photocopy our homework for you at lunch." he motioned for butters to get a move on, and with a sputtering cough from the shorter of the two, they hurried out the door and up the street, kenny trying to help his friend through the gritty streets.

* * *

 

eventually they reached the bus stop. kenny felt a wave of relief as he saw his friends still waiting. it instantly washed away when cartman was first to notice him with butters. 

"hey, look guys! kenny got a boyfriend!" 

"not today, dude." kenny mumbled, sides still heaving from their uphill walk. 

"come aaaaahnnn, you always laugh at my jokes about fags!"

"yeah, for once im siding with cartman. whats wrong dude? why is butters here?" kyle turned from where he was sitting next to stan, eyes curious. stan seemed to briefly glance at kyle before resuming whatever game he was playing on his phone. maybe there was a mobile version of world of warcraft? who cares.

kenny turned his attention back to the two who still waited an answer. the hooded boy sighed. "just... butters doesnt feel good today. leave him alone."

cartman wheezed in laughter, but kyle just returned to watching stan play, seeming satisfied with the vague answer. 

the two boys sat down on the bench, the taller making sure he was between butters and cartman, who had started wrapping his arms around himself and rubbing his back whilst making slobbery kissing noises between laughs. kenny rolled his eyes, deciding to stare straight ahead in boredom and ignore his asshole friend.

* * *

 

it seemed like ages before the bus arrived. at least eric had tired of his antics, which kenny was grateful for. when he finally caught a blur of bright mustard yellow in his peripheral vision, he smiled in relief. butters didnt need to be out in the cold any longer than he already had been.

he grabbed his backpack, standing up. the others shuffled behind him, also grabbing their things. 

"come on, dude." kenny mumbled to butters, who stood up drowsily and stretched. "oh, dont be such a dramatic!" he joked, relieved when a smile broke through the gloom on the smaller boy's face.

"you can try to doze on the bus. i do it a lot- most kids do, actually." he shrugged. 

the bus hissed to a stop as if to punctuate his sentence. the five of them shuffled on, covering their noses before the reek of exhaust could get to them. 

kenny found a secluded seat, deciding to give butters the window seat so nobody could bother him. the dirty blonde shuffled onto the grimy old seat beside his friend and slid his homework out of his backpack. 

at some point between using the calculator on his phone and scribbling down answers with bullshit explanations to accompany them, he noticed the faint snores of butters, and felt relief flourish in his chest.

he could only hope the rest of today would go smoothly.

 


	3. fight it out

butters groaned as he was shaken awake, fumbling for the hood of his blue jacket.

"butters!" a voice hissed. the blonde quickly remembered where he was and lifted his head from the cold surface of the desk.

"nnh... hey kenny." he mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

"i covered for you during class. its lunch."

"oh." butters' head shot straight up. he had slept through most of the day and could feel hunger gnawing at his insides. he stood up, immediately feeling his stuffy nose and sore throat return to him. he stumbled for a moment, embarassed, then realized it was only him and kenny left in the room as he righted himself.

"im gonna go photocopy homework for you. you go sit with stan and kyle, theyll prolly help keep eric off your back." kenny hoisted his backpack off his chair and walked out.

butters sighed, grabbing his own bag and wandering out.

the school hallways stretched out in front of him. they seemed so long and mysterious when hollow like this. butters subconsciously stifled a cough, as if wanting to continue the silence of the halls. he turned, walking down the corridor to his right and hoping he'd get to the lunch benches soon.

finally, much to his relief, the familiar rumble of hundreds of kid's voices began to fill the hall as he drew closer to the cafeteria, before finally he came to a gaping door, dozens of benches covered in chattering classmates spanning out before him. the familiar prickle of eyes on him made anxiety flare in his chest, and he raced to sit near stan and kyle, picking his way through the fray of children. at last he settled at the table. "h-hey fellas."

"hey gay boy." cartman said, without even flitting a glance to the blonde.

"shut up, cartman. its been hours, its just more annoying now." kyle snapped back from beside butters.

"but thats what's fun abaht iiit!"

"you-" the two continued arguing, with the occasional butt in from stan, usually agreeing with kyle though occasionally just him trying to get both quieted down. butters just sat there, knowing he didnt have lunch.

he was so out of it he didnt even realise when footsteps thumped behind him. the bickering that he had been absentmindedly listening to paused, and the other three turned. butters did too, and his blood ran cold.

"sup pussies."

butters wished he could shrink away into nothingness. as if his life today hadnt been horrible enough.

fucking sixth graders.

the head honcho of the group stepped forward, tossing his phone in the sir and catching it idly with one hand."nice to see ive gotten your attention already. lets make this quick. my buddy bruce needs some food, since his mom only packed him a fuckin' pb&j. so how about we get some loans and we'll consider not punching your shrimpdicks in?" the sixers chuckled, and butters' heart skilled a beat as their gaze landed on him.

next thing he knew, he had been yanked rather abruptly from his seat and tossed like nothing more than a paper plate. he stumbled backwards, to the humor of the taller boys, before regaining his balance. he trembled.

"you first. what you got?"

"oh, gee, n-nothing fellas. i d-dont got lu-lunch money or-"

all he saw was the sixth grader swing his fist, and then his face went numb and he crumbled. the world was silent and all he heard was his ears ringing, and his eyes stung with hot tears. his body was shaking.

"-nt fucking lie, fifthie!" was the first thing he heard when the noise of the world returned to him.

"i-i actually dont!" he screamed, looking around desperately. where was kenny? could kenny even help? could anyone?

two of the sixth graders stepped forward, ready to swing at each side of his head at once. preparing for the worst, butters pulled his knees to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. this was it, this was-

"hey."

the sixth graders turned, but butters didnt dare move.

"move out, you guys. take it from me, youll live a day without food."

kenny?

god, the cliche was enough to make butters want kenny to not show up.

"the fuck are you gonna do, fifthie?"

"im a fifthie dating the queen of all you dumbasses and i suggest you roll out before i get her to make you." kenny shrugged.

"shit, its you again! come on guys!" butters watched in awe as an entire pack of sixth graders who had just been attacking him suddenly shied away from kenny mccormick, the ghettoboy of fifth grade.

and then he was hit with a sudden lightheadedness that made it hard for him to see.

"fu..ck, -tters? you got -t up?" was all he heard as kenny ran over, and then he was out.

it was quiet in the dark land of unconsciousness. a strange yet welcome contrast to the clamour of waking life.

what was going on again? butters couldnt bother remembering. it was hard to cling to memories here.

no, wait. feelings. he was feeling emotion, thats good. so that means he's not dying. ok. good.

good.

so what emotions were there? that seemed a good way to pass the time.

lets see... he felt fear. thats normal when youre suddenly sent into an unconscious state after a near-death experience. confusion. also normal. but then there was... another, more blurry emotion.

something much harder to decipher and something he had never felt. at least, not like this.

it was nice, and he could feel it in his chest, blossoming more softly and calmly than fear or worry did. it turned the terror into something less sharp. he stayed in it for another few seconds, and just as his gut wrenched as he thought he was about to recognize what it was, though not why he was feeling it...

he woke up, and it all flooded away from him so quickly. he was laying on a stiff, cold cushion bed in a room that reeked of doctor's office. butters had been here too often since fourth grade started. the nurse's office. 

he groaned, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the mat. a nurse yipped in surprise from across the room and hurried to him.

"good, youre awake. that was a nasty cut on your forehead, but its all fixed up now." she smiled sweetly, but butters could hardly give the same positivity back.

no wonder his head felt like shit. that damn sixth grader had punched him way harder than he thought. a chill went down his spine as he wondered what would have happened if it hadnt been for...

"kenny! wheres kenny?"

"your little friend with the parka? he just left. lunch ended, but you're staying here for a bit longer." she paused. "how are you feeling?"

butters narrowed his eyes a little, testing his brain with a few thoughts. "my head still feels a little bad, miss." 

"oh, dear.well, i called your parents' number that we had on file to take you home and let you rest."

"wh-wha?" cold fear ran through him, a pang of shock that made his nerves crackle and numb like he'd been struck by a small bolt of lightning. butters' throat tightened. "wait, miss, maybe you shouldn't have. they're uhm, on vacation?"

"they didn't seem it. they actually seemed quite eager to pick you up." 

"h-how long until they're here?" he murmured.

"oh, dear, don't look so shaken. you're not in trouble!" 

 _oh, yes i am._ his gut twisted in an ugly was and he clenched a fist a little, hiding it behind one thigh. "how long until they're here?" he repeated, hoping he didn't sound too rude or shaken. if anyone found out about his parents' treatment of him, he'd be a goner too fast. a part of him even regretted ever finding kenny and telling him a whiff of information, but that was too far gone. besides, kenny's parents wouldn't care, so butters would be safe from any secrets getting spilled if kenny had said anything already.

"oh, they'll be here in a minute or two. we called them about ten minutes ago."

the world was spinning, fear crept through his nerves, his throat tightened.

"maybe you should lie back down,  honey. oh, i think-" the nurse's urging voice was cut off by the door opening, and they both spun to the newcomer. the fakest, most malicious and coy smile to ever be on his father's face appeared in the now open doorway. 

"ah, butters, there you are!" the voice full of hidden, oozing sweetness that concealed a spite only butters could detect.

"you know, we got so worried sick when you called us. we got in the care right away." the flaunting, over-exaggerated way his father moved to others, like he was putting on a performance only butters saw through.

"now, butters, why don't we head home? that injury needs to be rested." the cold, threatening stare that said  _do what i say or you'll see out of one eye for the next week._

that was his father, for sure, putting on the act like he was just an incredibly concerned father, but butters knew what a monster he was. knew it was an act. shakily, he stood, fear moving his muscles like puppet strings.

he walked out the door of the office with his father, catching the cold, malicious glances at him that sent ice through his nerves.

they'd hardly reached the car, walking out of sight of most people behind the one door. butters tried to get in the car, but a hand gripped his shoulder firmly, and the little blonde jolted in terror. "now, boy. do you think you could have hid from us long? we've given you so much. maybe you need a little reminder to be more thankful." 

his father lifted a powerful fist.

butters was supposed to scream and cry and brace himself for pain, but this time something new happened.

he heard kenny's voice, saying something distant and reassuring.

he felt fire crackle through him. 

he swung faster, harder.

he ran.

through the snow.

from his father's yelling.

the sound of a roaring motor.

back to the park.

back to anywhere from his father.

and he didn't stop until he crashed down on the ground, staring up at the stars with a shaky chest falling in uneven sobs.

_to stargaze._

 

 


	4. deja vu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's a little short but i wanted to post two chapters in one day to make up for my inactivity. sorry yalls

kenny felt a little disturbed when he didn't see butters walking around at school dismissal.

he felt a bit more worried when he went to the office and didn't see butters through any windows on his way there.

he began to feel certain dread when he saw nobody in the nurse's office.

he felt absolute horror when he heard from a very confused nurse that butters' father had picked him up.

"no." kenny breathed, stumbling out the door and away from the nurse's office. he rushed out the door, quickly apologizing to a nearby supervisor for running, dashed outside, and saw no butters in the parking lot, which was beginning to empty out as parents picked up their kids from school, and the buses carried load after load of students out of the lot as well.

"no, no, no!" kenny fought back a swear or five, his head whipping around the asphalt area. his eyes caught on something colored different from the trees and snow and asphalt and grass.  _oh no._

it was a few small speckles of blood, glittering like rubies in the snow. in no world should there ever be blood in an elementary school parking lot... unless a kid got hit by a car or something morbid. but this was too little blood for something like that, too little panic around it. nobody stared or murmured or cast rumors about it. it was just blood. 

but kenny couldn't be sure whose it was. he had one place to look, and he clung to that hope so tightly he wondered if he actually had his hands in a fist as he rushed there, backpack smacking against his spine as he rushed through the sidewalks. he didn't know why he was so worried, but he just was. he and butters had never been close, but maybe that didn't matter anymore. now they were. now kenny would protect him at any cost, and kenny couldn't be sure why. it was an unfamiliar kind of notion, and he didn't even have that kind of devotion to his own girlfriend.

kenny jumped a park bench in one clear leap, still continuing in a straight line. he couldn't be stopped at this point. the dirty blonde turned a tree in the park, and almost passed right over the smallest notice of a teal jacket and pale blonde hair, curled against a bench's armrest that was close to the middle of the park. 

"butters!" he yelped, surging forward. relief and worry bloomed in him as he charged into the little, curled up form, grasping his friend in a hug without even thinking. was it a little gay? sure, why not. half of everything a guy did could probably be labelled gay. right now kenny was just worried for his friend, and that was the excuse he'd stick with.

the smaller boy seized up in fear, and kenny noticed as butters slowly unfolded and wrapped his own arms around him in return how shaky his breathing was, how it still caught in his chest like he'd been crying and afraid for an hour or two. it made hot flashes of guilt and anger surge through him. god, why had he been so stupid, leaving butters like that? of course the nurse would call the number on file. of course, of course, of course. why was he so stupid?

"kenny, y-you okay?" butters suddenly murmured, and kenny became aware of cold specks of tears crossing his cheeks. he pushed away from his friend and wiped his tears away on his wrist befor butters could notice. why was he crying, when butters' own tears were much more called for, and were already drying?

"are you?" kenny countered almost instantly. 

they both fell silent, but kenny held butters' blue-eyed gaze firmly.

"...no." butter murmured at last, breaking the connection. kenny felt the words drive the knife deeper into his heart. 

"i'm sorry. i should've noticed, or... i don't even know." the dirty blonde shrugged his arms, instinctively putting his hood up, and sinking further back into the warm fur of his parka. "but i shouldn't have left you." kenny bit the bottom of his lip, picking at a loose bit of skin there idly.

butters sighed. "geez, ken. this is all my dad's fault, not yours."

kenny nodded his head sullenly. "i-i don't know. maybe i could've said something while you were still out cold." 

but the blonde shook his head. "no. it was my fucking dad, just like it has been." kenny snapped his gaze up and saw the anger that had been burning in his eyes, previously hidden behind tears. the intensity with which the smaller boy had spoken honestly surprised kenny- he didn't really think butters had that much spite in him. 

"what... what happened?" he finally managed to breathe.

"i hit him. hard. he tried to hit me but then i heard-" butters cut off, shaking his head as if hiding something. "i-i don't know what happened, i just... hit him. i got angry, hit him, and then i ran here."

that was also a surprise for someone as usually passive and sweet as butters. "well... are you okay? i saw blood at the parking lot."

"blood?" those blue eyes widened.

"yeah. uhm, not much. but a little." kenny scooted closer. "butters, come on. let's go home. the longer you're out here, the more chances your dad will find you. a-and... i don't really want you dead right now." 

butters turned away slightly. "i wanna stay here." he drew in a shaky breath.

"why?"

"why not? it's calmer out here... and my dad will think i'm at someone else's house, probably. i don't know if the nurse brought anything up about you, but if he did, the first place my dad'll check is your house."

kenny sighed and stood up to leave. "alright. stay safe-" a smaller hand grabbed his own lightly.

"w-wait. could you, uhm..."

"don't say it." kenny laughed a little, smiling at the other boy. after a moment of hesitation between them. "fine, fine. why do you hate sleeping alone?"

"uh. night terrors." butters shrugged. "i know it sounds weird, but i tend to freak out when i'm alone. even back home, i had my guinea pig to keep me company. geez, they're probably gonna sell him, huh ken?"

"they might. but then i'll buy him for you. with, like, a watch i steal or something. people buy those, right?" 

"you'd steal a watch to buy my guinea pig for me?" kenny flushed slightly and frowned at his friend as he saw butters bite back a laugh.

"as a matter of fact, i would. it's not like i haven't stolen stuff before, butters."

"what happened to the proud superhero?"

"shut up." kenny turned away, instantly knowing butters meant mysterion. "i could have you do it if you're scared of another supervillain taking your place. maybe i'll even have an edgier name than professor chaos."

"then maybe i'll change my name to be an edgier name than mysterion." butters made a face.

they chatted for what felt like hours. when finally kenny noticed the time on his phone, he was surprised to find it was a lot earlier than he'd expected. he was glad it was a friday night- they could sleep in tomorrow, and not fear for butters' safety at school. the two boys began to get drowsy, but kenny really wasn't ready to go to bed yet. he'd always been a bit of an insomniac.

"hey, butters?"

"hm?" the sleepy response next to him made kenny crack an amused smile in the dark.

"is your name actually butters?"

"nah." 

"what is it?"

silence for a moment.

"leopold."

kenny snickered, sitting up more and looking at butters. "leopold?" he repeated.

"yeah. what's so funny?"

"nothing it's just.. how do you get butters from a name like leopold?"

"i'm fine with it." butters turned away. why was he so embarrassed of any quips kenny said? butters had just cried in front of him, after all.

"we need to think you up a new nickname." kenny said quickly. "what about, uh.... leo?"

"leo?"

"yeah. shorter than butters, too."

"... fine. but only you can call me it."

"fair enough." kenny smiled. "night, leo."

did butters squirm a little in the grass beside him? kenny blinked, trying to see through the darkness, but it'd already stopped. he smiled a little as butters drowsily responded "night, ken."

yeah. this was nice. this was okay. but something felt different now. an uncertain, strange feeling crept through him. it felt like what he'd felt with tammy initially, but butters was a dude, so it couldn't be love. no, it couldn't be. that wasn't possible, right? kenny liked girls. no, no, this wasn't love.

he hoped this wasn't love.


End file.
